Bodhisattva and the Wailers – thoughts on finding your happiness

In my work I am lucky to meet some amazing people, most of my colleagues are incredibly talented and in my daily routine I sometimes take care of celebrities. However, two weeks ago I had a moment that spoke to me more than most as I spent some time with the venerable Dupsing Rinpoche. Not only did this encounter evoke memories from my time in Nepal it also spiralled my thinking out of control. In particular I found myself looking at his face which radiated a sublime happiness; my trippy wife calls it an aura and in this moment I truly understood what she means. Dupsing displayed a confident contentment and this is from a man whose people have been forced to leave their home. If I look at other disposessed native people this is hardly the look I usually see; that though is another story.

So I have been left wondering what gives a man such an appearance. Over coffee yesterday a friend was joshing me (giving me a hard time for non Brits), that I was obsessed and that he too looked happy. Now, no offence, the thing is I rarely see people look this happy and know that they live it constantly. Yes I see euphoric rushes, moments when people are blissful. This though I feel was a constant. I have seen this beatific smile in one other place recently and that is on a video of the Wailers shot recently by some friends. http://vimeo.com/35125194 check out the guy in the middle; the thing is I have not been in his presence so I do not know if he radiates happiness.

So back to the question, what allows someone to emanate such a glow, well in the case of Dupsing I think I know. The venerable Rinpoche has always known who he is and was told as much when he was young by people who had sought him out. (Check out his story http://www.dupsing.org/Biography.htm) He has been living his destiny as a result of this. When things are tough he knows that it is for a reason and he knows that his life takes discipline and he is more than willing to embrace it. As a living reincarnation he basically knows who he is.

Just as a farmer in Greece plants an olive tree knowing that it will wait for his grandson to reap the fruit, there is something rassuring in living this concept of impermanent permanence. Knowing who you are allows you to relax and be just that, it removes immeasurable choices that do not really help us and lets us focus on what we can affect. Dupsing is happy because he has worked at the things that he knows will make a difference, he knows he is working towards being the best he can be and he knows he is helping others in this process.

What can you or I do in this moment to know who we are and who we can help? Armed with this thought I look forward to seeing more smiles.

Awake in a time of slumber

Walking through a mall the other day I was amazed at some of the expressions that I was witnessing. While there were couples and groups that portrayed an image of happiness, the most common condition was a zoned out state. Watching someone with a lifeless gaze following a trajectory through a crowd seemingly taking nothing in nor connecting with anyone en route is both a sad condition and also rife. Why is it something I see in the west and yet while travelling and living in developing countries it did not appear to be an available condition? Living in Nepal I saw people with nothing embracing every minute. Cooking dinner, tending the livestock, washing clothes by hand, tilling fields people appeared present. More often than not they were in the company of others and talking. Without a cell phone or digital connection they were not pulled in a multitude of directions. They were “there” listening to their friend. When I talk to people I often wonder if they are fully with me or in a place with their thoughts. I will be honest, I wonder this because I am guilty of it.

Was I always like this? Did I always tend to my own thoughts rather than being available to those of the person I am with? I like to think that this was not a chronic condition in my youth. I want to believe that I grew to be this way and that I can return to a way of being that allows me to be fully immersed in what I am doing rather than thinking of what I am about to do or what I have just done. What I recognize is that in a world full of distractions and “stuff” then it is going to be a work of resolve to return to my previous behaviors. Being present is a discipline.

Maybe it is time to go off on a long backpacking trip as a kick start. Walking was always the best meditation I knew. What are you going to do to be present?

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” Kung Fu Panda or perhaps Babatunde Olatunji.

Attractive Images: Finding your way with dreams

Prepare yourself there are a lot of “I”s in this post. Hang on in there though it is a pretty good story. I alluded to the fact in the last post that I never really thought I would live in Nepal; what I did not say was that I dreamed of it constantly. From the days when I first started climbing and even before I was drawn to mountain literature. The stories are all human and involve great courage and endurance, there is a gritty realism where bad things happen and the protagonists have to deal with them. Inevitably there is an exploration of relationships, what makes a good partner, a fine leader and how we define ourselves by the landscapes we choose to visit. The word-smithing is often beautiful too and conjures incredible images. With these filling my mind I was drawn to the Himalayas like a pregnant woman to ice cream.

When I made the decision to spend time in Nepal I wrote so many letters and really had only one response. One line stood out in the missive, “What do you know about Permaculture? If you know nothing about Permaculture you are no use to us!” So off I went on a quest. I started to learn about Permaculture in the UK and when I found out it had its origins in Australia I chose to go there to study. Following courses and a stay with the founder, I travelled though South East Asia, doing voluntary work along the way until I arrived in Nepal.

Arriving with a tourist visa I was expecting a three month stay so I decided to embrace where I was and did all I could to engage with situations and people. In the first week in the office I involved myself with writing newsletters, designing programs and farms and even helped a random stranger with their resume. The following week I attended the first national workshop of regenerative agriculture, I also presented my work groups findings. Even better I was able to tour farms and communities in various settings. After nine weeks I started to wonder if I was going to be able to perpetuate my stay. When I went to my boss asking for ideas I was not really expecting much; I asked anyway. Bhadri’s response was rather surprising. The resume I had written had gained its owner the new title of Acting Director of Imigrations. We went to him, cap in hand, asking if I could change my visa from tourist to non tourist – being typically Nepali he did not want to lift his head above the parapet and was not willing to help unless I had a letter from a government official. I was crestfallen. Bhadri however smiled and told me that I knew someone in government. I laughed until he told me that the quiet gentleman in my work group at the workshop was actually the secretary of the ministry of agriculture. A quick visit there and I was able to return to the Department of Immigration armed with an official letter with a government seal.

All of a sudden I was able to live in Nepal indefinitely, I could buy property and cross country flights cost nothing. Again, I am not sure how this all happened and I never did meet anyone else who managed to pull this stunt off. All I know is that I had wanted to spend an extended time in that wonderful country since I could remember and somehow it became possible. The only solution I have aligns with the law of attraction. By creating a strong enough image you can make it happen.

My time in Nepal was amazing. What are you going to attract?

Creating your roadmap: dreams and futures

A couple of years ago I was reflecting on the places that I have lived and trying to figure out if there was any reason why I had been attracted to those places in particular. At the time, there really seemed to be no pattern. Each of the places seemed unlikely for different reasons. I never really wanted to spend an extended time in Australia because my mother had emigrated there in her twenties and I did not want to follow in her footsteps. Nepal always seemed to be a hard country to gain a visa for. The States was the place of movies rather than somewhere I was going to end up living even if Colorado has the perfect climate and incredible mountains. Alaska, now there is a far flung frontier, what does anyone want to do moving there?

During our sojourn in Alaska; which really is an incredible place, I wrestled with why. One day it suddenly struck me. On the wall of my room at school I had placed posters and a few pictures from magazines. In particular there were four large images of climbers and guess where the climbs were; Australia, Nepal, Colorado and Alaska. Now I have never done any of those routes but something must have resonated. A seed must have been sowed and nurtured which led to my following through and all this was done at a sub conscious level.

My conclusion is that dreams really are powerful. Creating images of where you want to go is far more productive than looking at roadblocks.

What do you want to do and how are you going to create the images that will take you there?

Drystone Walls, Lego and Foundationial Principles

Image via Wikipedia

Once in a previous life I built drystone walls and trail. It is satisfying work. Simon Lapington, a friend with whom I used to work titled an anthology of his poems “the Legend of True Labour“, and this resonates with me. The thing is that now when I walk past a garden wall or stone house cladding then I am drawn to a quick analysis. Form does indeed follow function and if a structure has true strength; as in the Menai Bridge from the last post, then it is is aesthetically pleasing. What I find is that I baulk at a lot of the stonework that I see, I am sorry but it is plain offensive. I was always taught that there is a simple rule when walling. One on two, two on one. When I see a straight line travelling through a wall I want to scream. Any child who has spent sufficient time with Lego knows that if blocks do not overlap then the structure is weak.

The thing that irks me is that people are paying good money for “professionals” to this kind of work. The other thing that makes me sad is that it is simply remedied. My apprenticeship with stone was served with large mentors who took no nonsense. It did not take me long to create the simple practice of laying one rock so that it sat on two others and making sure that it was tied down by having two rocks lie on it.

What I now realize is that this phenomena is rife in education as well. In our ever increasing need to train complex situations we are not training young people in the simple, yet foundational behaviors and skills that they need to do work successfully and efficiently. My mentors did not allow me to move forward untill I had the basics down. We are in such a hurry to reach high performance we often sabotage it.

So what are you going to do to make sure that you have the basics covered?

Growing up “social”: Misdemeanors in a small world

Image via CrunchBase

I am so glad that I grew up before computer screens lit up the faces of young people. Needing a scalpel to be removed from a gameboy was not an available affliction to folk of my age and I shudder to think what my life would have been like. Can you imagine every mood of your adolescent years being the focus of attention on Facebook? I am particularly glad that peers could not point a phone at my misdemeanors and immediately record them to you tube.

Good fortune has provided me with a number of vibrant and youthful “friends” on Facebook and seeing their antics broadcast on the web causes me to smile and also ponder how things might have been different. I am certainly glad of having few witnesses to a number of my “social experiments” and explorations into finding out what it is to be human and truly alive.

At college I was also lucky in that I had great friends who through adventure sports knew what it was to be truly focused; they had glints in their eyes borne from pushing boundaries. While some might see this needle sharp concentration as selfish and disruptive it was the essence of young people who were on a journey of finding themselves. Many went on to become stalwarts of the community and their skills were developed through “play”. The thing is that most of this behavior was best unheard of and even better unseen.

So here is a quick story that I am willing to share. As a student I lived by a body of water called the Menai Straits and from our dorm rooms we could see the island of Anglesey. Spanning this briny channel is an incredibly beautiful bridge suspended from chains more than a hundred feet above the water. Built by Thomas Telford and completed in 1826 it is an incredible example of aesthetics and how there is an extreme elegance in sound engineering.

We often used to cross over to the town of Menai Bridge which had a good collection of pubs and after dark it was not unheard of for us to return over the top of the chains. The view from the eerie at the apex on the towers is amazing and the feeling of freedom provided by the airy journey is (was) quite sublime.

One evening we had gone out in fancy dress and elected to return by the “high road”.

Unfortunately, a passer by had called the police and while most of us scattered, one brave young man chose to stand on top of a building on the mainland that housed one end of the chain. The policeman decided to try and talk our superhero down, I need to also tell you he was dressed in tight red and blue with a flowing red cape and a large red “S” highlighted by a yellow background.

“Come down son.”

“No!”

“OK, what’s your name?”

“Superman!”

“Don’t get smart with me sonny. What’s your real name?”

“Clark Kent. I come from Krypton, and I am going back there now.” With that he leaped off the back and ran down to the beach never to be caught. Meanwhile his audience in the bushes sniggered.

So yes there are some scenes from my past I would love to see on youtube and this is one of them. Your homework today is to think of things you want people to see that you do and also to happily reminisce on memories you know were kept from the public eye.

Image via Wikipedia

Good talk

Image via Wikipedia

A few days ago I was walking into work. The sky was an incredible cobalt and I had just been sitting outside the local coffee shop with Cai and my sister. It all felt truly Mediterranean and the boy from Wales (me) was now striding with a skip in his step, appreciative of the incredible weather and how his life has evolved. As I walked I was sipping on coffee and to say the least I was very content.

Walking through a pleasant neighborhood, I greeted an old couple, after initial hellos the gentleman asked me what was in my mug. In my rush to make it to work on time I gave a short and perfunctory response. As I left the couple behind, my mind started to race. What if I had answered with more interest and flair?

Why it is the elixir of the gods; even its fragrant scent lifts the most jaded souls from doldrums. Or maybe I might have quoted Benjamin Franklin suggesting that the contents might “excite cheerfulness without intoxication; and the pleasing flow of spirits which it occasions…is never followed by sadness, languor or debility.”

The thing was that my, “its just coffee” felt flat and somewhat unthoughtful. So for the rest of the day I made an effort to find something worthwhile and uplifting to say. Watching the smiles as I made connections with the people I had interactions with was warming. My highlight though was recognizing a lady’s rather unusual last name and telling her how I had met a girl of the same name a week or so earlier. She responded excitedly and told me that she is “my little girl”. The riposte was automatic, “well mom, you did a great job, she is lovely.” Watching the pride bloom in this lady’s face was magical, and every time I have seen her since she has made a point of seeking me out and saying something that will boost my day.

What are you saying to lift the day of others? What are you saying to lift your own?

Tall Tales – thoughts on stories and using them:

As a teacher I use stories all the time. Painting images of archetypes truly allows a concept or lesson to be picked up, played with and felt at an emotional level. Recently there seems to be a recurring theme in the conversations I have been engaged in. “We talk about authentic, do stories need to be true?” If you know why you are telling a story then you are always going to know the truth in it and to me this is the foundation of authenticity. I particularly like stories that challenge the status quo and commonly held norms. Even tall tales can have integrity, you merely need your audience to know that the message of the story is what is important. The disconnect occurs when something is passed off as real which isn’t and then we have to contemplate the story of the boy that cried wolf.

Some years ago I was working building trail, groups of five to twenty of us would go out into mountain parks and create and repair routes through the foothills of Colorado‘s Front Range. One of my colleagues was a young man named David. David had a penchant for stretching the truth, his motivation seemingly to create something incredulous out of a normal life. This was so much the case that he had earned the nickname, Liar Liar. One morning he came in claiming sickness, we tended to think it was the result of a late night. Following walking in to our site in extremely hot weather he proceeded to go and lie under the tarp we set up for shade at breaks. While the rest of us sweated, David snored and to say the least sympathy was the farthest thing from our minds. Just before lunch there was a scream from the tarp and David came out running, looking distraught and cursing about a snake. Now it should be noted that David the bull riding, sky diving, extreme fighter was terrified by snakes, even so we certainly were not inclined to believe his latest story of a large rattlesnake slithering over his chest while he slept.

Out of curiosity and armed with a suitable excuse to down tools we meandered over to the tarp to witness the site of his newest escapade. Imagine our surprise when we saw a big old snake curled up by the backpack which had obviously served as a pillow. David had told the truth; this was a shock, especially when the snake was the largest rattlesnake I have ever seen. It was a beautiful and unusual green color and sat at the end of it’s tail were 16 globes which made the most incredible sound when we tried to move it on with a lengthy stick.

The point of my story is that David’s intention in telling his story was entirely lost due to the previous pattern of his behavior. While he was digging for sympathy we were all laughing. Rather than believe his story we had believed he was going to tell us an untruth.

On another note we often disbelieve stories because of our perceptions of them. Fish tales are never true right? So here is a shameless plug for my wife, the woman some know as a prissy cheerleader and others a mom. Here is the result of 4 hours in the Kenai River while I was away working and that is no lie. This may tell you something about who the provider is in this household?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Who gives you food for thought? How do they supply material for the messages you want to share?

Some of the best advice I was ever given

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
William Wordsworth

Taken from martindriscoll.com

Somewhere on the Burren in Western Ireland there is a fork in the road and a signpost. Towards the end of a two week long cycle trip we were confronted by the paradox it proposed. Surrounded by white rough rocked walls and open limestone escarpments we stopped. Larks were singing and wildflowers waving from the lush grass of perfect grazing land.

From the post sprouted two pointed and opposing plaques of metal each suggesting that Ballyvaughn was 12 miles in the direction they indicated. Stood perched by a gate not ten yards from the sign was an evidently content farmer. Dressed in a tweed suit with a matching cap and chewing on a long piece of grass he leant quietly watching us and the cows in his field. We all nodded acknowledgement of each other’s presence and then I greeted him and asked a question.

“So which is the best way to Ballyvaughn?”

He looked at me obviously amused while taking in my colorful attire and Lycra shorts. Then in the a lilting accent he responded with a question. “So what will you be doing then?”

“Well we thought we would take it slow and cycle around Ireland”, I offered in return.

He looked me in the eye and said, “well you could go this way…” pointing to his left, “then again you could go that way” signaling to the right. Then swiftly he pointed out. “To be sure you would be walking if you were taking it slow.”

Sometimes it is the most obvious things that I need help with.

What is some of the best advice you were given?

Related articles

• Country Diary: The Burren, Ireland (guardian.co.uk)

Mentors & Champions

Last night I got to do what I love to do and am good at for the first time at a job I have been doing for nearly a year. The good news is that it was successful, then again why wouldn’t it be? I have been teaching experientially for over two decades and a lot of time, effort and thought has gone into developing the skills and techniques that I use to facilitate people’s learning.

My big take home point is that I came to the job wanting to do this; it was always my stated goal. I want to work in development for a big company whose values I admire so I came in at the ground floor to learn a business that I knew nothing about. That way I was able to learn what truly goes on, while having time to think of ways that I can apply the skills I have to the benefit of the company and people that work there. Now in many ways this has not been easy. I have often felt underutilized and there has been frustration at the amount of time that the process has taken.

Last night I realized why it had taken so long and this is a lesson I will carry with me. Following my hour with a newly forming mentor group, examining what it is to be a mentor through games, activities, laughter and reflection my manager came up to me. After thanking me she said she could not promise anything but she was going to make sure that other managers in the region new of my skill set and what we had accomplished that evening. Without being asked she had stated she was going to promote my talents. Now this amused me because for the last week I had been pondering the idea of attracting a champion and here was one manifesting herself effortlessly.

For nearly a year I have hidden my talent and while I have asked repeatedly for opportunities to demonstrate it, I have not been approaching it in the right way. I had not  made sure that I had a mentor at work, I had not made sure that I had a champion for my worthy cause. Moving forward, I will make sure that people know what I can do for them. I will make sure that I demonstrate my skill set and I will find a person within the organization who has the rank to make things happen and who will benefit from what I have to offer. I will actively look for a champion and mentor?

How will you find your champion?